Last night, I had a bad dream. I had a dream that my daddy died. You know how you can sometimes think where you might have gotten this idea for a dream? Well I'm reading Ellen Foster, and if you haven't read that book YOU SHOULD. Very powerful. Talks about a foster child and her story of her broken family with no mama and daddy and jumping finding a home. Even though I don't have a broken family this dream was still so powerful. I also saw an episode of scrubs where Carla loses her mommy. So that must have something to do with it. In my dream I felt myself crying and remembering everything about my dad. I thought it was real i remember things so well. That feeling that my dad is not going to walk through that door anymore. It hurt. But then somehow I woke up and discovered it was just a dream. A blanket of relief rushed over me and I was so happy. I wanted to see my daddy and give him a BIG hug, but it was 6 in the morning. But when I did wake up I saw my mommy happy so I gave her a big hug after seeing her in my dreams hurt. She was ok. And my dad when I saw him he was cleaning (like normal) and I couldn't help but smile and say "Yup thats my Daddy".
Its true when they say you don't know what you have until its gone. After somewhat experiencing my dad not being around I realized how much of my life was missing. My good night kiss, my hello in the morning, my hugs and pinches of my cheeks he does to me. I noticed how good my life is right now just for that reason, the love of my dad. Or the love of my family. Thats all I need. Also the love of my friends, I don't know where I would be or who I would be without them. People who surround you everyday become apart of you and after saying "Man, life is not where I want it to be right now" you can look around you and see who is where you want them to be. Its ok to be down but know you are surrounded by love and people who love you know matter what.
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