I want to go on a boat. I want to go out to the middle of the sea where all I can see is the blue Earth. So far away that I can hear the angels sing. Where your heart can make friends with the dolphins and sing to them over the waves as they swim by. I don't want to look back I just want to look ahead. I want to open my arms and fly. Then is the distance I see the sunset and I hear it call to me. I close my eyes and I can feels its warmth on my eyes. I breath in the salty air, and I watch the sun fall off the blue Earth.
I like quiet, because then I can hear everything. Everything on the inside seems to speak louder. I get in touch with my inner voice and just listen and feel. I remember all the hard days and I praise the good ones. Sometimes it feels like a dream, a second life, all the things that have happened to me. But without my past I would not be who I am today. I have grown. I am wiser and I am living a life. Right now it's a typical life with some extra special things. I am happy I am not alone. And listening to people and them telling me "Let things happen by themselves" made me step back and breath. I can't control life, I need to just let it happen. So I'm going to be lazy and not think too much. So far I feel more room in my mind and I like it.
But have you ever wondered "Is this it? Is this the life I am going to lead'? I think we say that because deep down inside we know there is more to come. I know there are going to be more hurts in life and more happiness too. I know that, but I do not know how. And at this moment I feel happiness and I feel I am falling back into a place. Maybe not the same place I used to be since I have grown a little, but I am not lost pieces on the table trying to fit somewhere. I seem to always have a very low low and then something happens and I'm back at a high. What put me here this time? Letting go and letting others open me back up. I have let a deep emotion leave till now it's only a memory. Now, I have a different something filling up my heart and making me have a reason to smile. I would hate to see you go and disappear, but I will not think of that. I will think of what you have done to me...You saved me from falling. That once again there is something good out there for me that is not hurtful in the process. You keep me fluttering. And without my friends and family I would not be rounded and home. My music and music around me seems to sound more beautiful then before. And the way I smile looks different...Looks like a new me.
Two times I have now escaped from myself and my fear and find happiness. This time with someone else too. This time I have grown a little bit more, changed a little bit more...I'm going to keep on going, keep on dancing.
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